Romance Manga Autoethnography
Romance manga for me has always been a break from the world: responsibilities, expectations from others, and my thoughts. Reading someone else’s story, their problems, their feelings, and their responses distracted me from my situation. Over the years, I have read all types of romance manga; the ones that took place in a school, in an office, childhood friends, enemies to lovers, modern stories, medieval times, rich CEO and subordinate, rich nobleman and peasant, and countless others. Every single one has left me with something, whether it has been a lesson, a feeling, or a reason not to recommend it to others. I have always sprinted through life. If I achieve a goal, it is time to move to the next one. If I have free time, I have to look for something to fill it up. Never staying in one place, always moving. My parents taught me that time is precious and that rather than looking straight at the future, I should cherish the present. However, as life went by, I gradually forgot about it. Recently I was reminded of this by a manga called “Our Happy Hours” by Sahara Mizu. It is the story of a convict on death row and a suicidal pianist raped as a child. Very heavy, I know, but the story of how they met and become a shelter for each other truly moved me. It is a story of how two broken people can form a bond deeper than romance and friendship. Rather than thinking of the inevitable future, they lived in the moment; learning from each other, finding refuge in each other, and helping each other heal. In the end, the convict was executed, and the pianist was left alone. However, she cherished their time together and never tried to kill herself again. She wanted to live for both of them and carry his memory on.
At first glance, you would not be able to tell one’s thoughts when it comes to manga, but if you observe for a little more, you could get a glimpse at their true feelings. I went to a manga store called Kinokuniya near Bryant Park to observe the hundreds of people browsing manga books of all types. At first, some would pick up the book and read the synopsis at the back. Others knew exactly what they were going to get. And those who came with friends would grab a book, and engage in an exciting conversation about whether it was good, what it was about, and if it was worth buying. One thing they all had in common was: a few seconds after they picked up something they liked, their eyes would widen, and their lips would curl up into a smile. Even those tired people who came after work would look relieved if they saw a story they found intriguing. There was a man dressed in a business suit browsing through the books when he suddenly stopped, his eyes fixated on a book. He then proceeded to take all of the volumes of that series, and with a smile on his tired face, he marched right to the cashier line. Whether it is mere entertainment, a break from adulting, or something deeper, you can see how much manga means to people by looking at their faces.
As mentioned before, by looking at peoples’ faces you can catch a glimpse of their feelings, but you would never know their true thoughts and feelings unless you spoke to them. I approached a friend of mine and asked her if I could interview her to get the true thoughts of an avid manga reader. My friend Essie and I have known each other since the second grade, and we know each other very well. We went to the same middle and high school and were always with each other. Essie was the friend who introduced me to Princess Jellyfish back in middle school and opened a door for me that would be of great importance even now. Despite being so similar, we have had very different lives and experiences, so I wondered if she had also been influenced by manga in a similar way as me. She started reading manga around 13 years old and has been pretty consistent with the type of manga she reads until now (Essie question 2). We have very similar tastes and I’m not surprised that I have read some of her favorites like Princess Jellyfish, Kamisama Kiss, and Sweat and Soap, which are on the more popular side since they invoke a“sweet, warm feeling” just how she likes it (Essie question 1). She likes the romance genre because she sees “love develop in different ways and different points of view” (Essie question 3). Because of this, her perception of love and trust has been impacted by reading manga. Romance manga helped her “raise a standard of how [she] wants to be treated by [her] future partner” (Essie question 5). She also learned not to “entertain a person who lost your trust” (Essie question 6). She uses the example of how in many stories the main character gets a broken heart at the beginning of the story but never goes back to that person, and that is when the male lead steps in to help her heal. Like me, she gets strong feelings of excitement or frustration while reading manga. She gets frustrated with some portrayals of love within some works since they are not only unrealistic but very “toxic” like “the very attractive male lead with lots of wealth and money finds himself attracted to this ‘average’ girl and wants to dedicate his life to her in a short span of a week or two, just because he finds her ‘challenging’ or ‘different” (Essie question 4). Because the romance manga world is so vast, you have to be careful with what you choose to spend your time reading. As Essie was mentioning, certain tropes romanticize toxic situations like sexual assault or teacher-student relationships and are targeted toward younger readers. While Essie and I have been influenced in positive ways, due to the diversity of stories, there could be some negative influences as well. The popular subgenre of Yaoi/BL has often been criticized for the romanticization of violence and sexual assault, yet many readers call the genre “their safe place” such as the fujoshi (Takeguchi pg. 93). Essie thinks that while some of these stories are fine for entertainment, it is not good to apply in reality. “ I don’t like this because there are young people who read these mangas where the male leads or female leads say or make outrageous decisions, more especially sexual assault-like actions that shouldn’t be overlooked easily like it never happened” (Essie question 11). Outside of the toxicity issue, like the fujoshi, Essie finds manga to be an escape. When asked whether reading manga was simply a hobby or something deeper, Essie says, “I’d say the reading manga is something deeper for me, it helps a lot when I’m having a bad day or in a bad mood. Losing myself in another world to escape my current reality was made possible through romance manga” (Essie question 10). At this point, I was sure that I wasn’t the only one and her account coincided with my observations. Essie had made it clear that manga had played a special role in her life. However, I wanted to get one more example of how. I asked her if manga made her pursue a hobby or an interest. She said she wanted to make her own romance manga that stands out from the norm. “ I wanna see different types of couples with perfect ‘imperfections’. I wanna create plus size characters or acknowledge that there other attractive bodies that aren’t always some lean guy with a six-pack” (Essie question 12). Essie is studying graphic design and has always been interested in art, so when she gave that answer, I knew how much manga meant to her.
From the research I have done on shojo and josei manga to an interview with an actual reader, I have learned that romance and other manga have affected readers in different ways, from impacting their views on life to helping them find a space where they belong, myself included.
Interviewer: Fatima Davila (student)
Interviewee: Essie (romance manga reader and friend of the interviewer)
Interview setting: phone call
-start of interview-
Interviewer: Hey, I know you like to read romance manga so would you be interested in answering a few questions to help me with an assignment?
Interviewee: yes of course.
Interviewer: What is your name? Can I use your real name, or would you like me to give you an alias?
Interviewee: I want to use my nickname, Essie.
Interviewer: Do I have your consent to use the information provided for my assignment?
Interviewee: yes, you do
Interviewer: Okay thanks. So first question: What kind of romance manga do you read and what are some titles?
Interviewee: Princess Jellyfish, Sweat and Soap, Daytime Star, and Kamisama Kiss. I mainly like the sweet warm feeling type romance manga.
Interviewer: Great. Okay, second question: When did you start reading romance manga? From then into now, has your taste changed?
Interviewee: I started ever since I was 13 and no, it hasn’t changed.
Interviewer: Gotcha. Third question: what do you like about romance manga? Do you prefer it to other genres?
Interviewee: I like romance manga because I get to see love develop in different ways and in different points of view. It’s exciting to see what’s gonna happen next; I do prefer it to other genres.
Interviewer: Very nice, thank you. Fourth question: do you think love in manga, whether it be familial, friendship, or romantic, is realistic? Do you identify with some of these works?
Interviewee: When it comes to family and friendships, yes. But sometimes in romance, it depends on the lead character or the type of story the authors are going for. For example, a popular trope would be the very attractive male lead with lots of wealth and money finds himself attracted to this “average” girl and wants to dedicate his life to her in a short span of a week or two, just because he finds her “challenging” or “different”. That is very unrealistic and not only that, it’s also toxic. If this happens in reality, the police would have been called.
Interviewer: Great, thank you. Okay, fifth question: has reading romance manga affected your perception of love in any way? How?
Interviewee: yes, it has. It helped to raise a standard of how I want to be treated by my future partner. There are a lot of mangas that represent healthy relationships that have a male lead who is loving, patient, and bold about who and what they want. There are those that also show how the female lead responds as well in a manner that’s not childish and a bit mature, like why would you tell him you hate him if you know you like him???? I never understood that.
Interviewer: Yeah, I’ve seen those too. Okay, 6th question: Is there anything in romance manga you’ve seen and applied to real life? Like a solution to a problem that may have worked for the protagonist and you tried it out or something like that.
Interviewee: One thing that I’ve applied is to simply never entertain the person that lost your trust. One thing almost every romance manga has is when the girl gets broken up with, she never goes back to her ex. The male lead shows up and takes that cheater’s place rightfully so. She may cry about it for a while, but she gets over it and moves on and almost all the time, they never go back to the one that broke their heart, which is a good thing to have and apply to reality. These female leads surprisingly have enough self-love to do that.
Interviewer: Nice, thank you. Okay 7th question: Would you like to live in a manga world? Which one and why?
Interviewee: oooooh I’m not sure which manga especially but I would like to be in a fantasy world with magic and stuff just because I find stuff like that cool.
Interviewer: Nice nice. Okay 8th question: Do you speak about reading manga openly with others or is it more of a secret/intimate hobby?
Interviewee: I speak openly about it depending on the person and if they are into what I’m into.
Interviewer: Understandable. Okay 9th question: Do you buy physical manga? If so, has it had any impact on your finances?
Interviewee: I’ve mainly gotten manga as gifts, I would sometimes buy cheap ones online, but no, it doesn’t impact my finances.
Interviewer: Gotcha. 10th question: Does reading manga have any significance to you? Is it just a hobby or something deeper?
Interviewee: I’d say reading manga is something deeper for me, it helps a lot when I’m having a bad day or in a bad mood. Losing myself in another world to escape my current reality was made possible through romance manga.
Interviewer: got it. 11th question, we’re almost done. Are there things you don’t like in the romance manga culture or community? What and why?
Interviewee: The unrealistic standards put in romance manga are only fun for reading but sometimes it’s not always good to apply in reality. Like girl, he pushed you down and tried to kiss you knowing no one is around, why are you blushing??? Scream for help. Realistically, this is very dangerous and not okay.
Interviewer: very understandable. Okay, so the final question: Has manga impacted your life in any way? Has it made you pursue a certain hobby, interested you in something, or exposed you to new things?
Interviewee: Yes! For a while now, I wanted to make my own short romance manga. Just as a small hobby. I wanna create interesting characters, most romance mangas have the stereotypical skinny girl who’s obviously pretty but for some reason, in her society, she is average but anyways- I wanna see different types of couples with perfect “imperfections” I wanna create plus size characters or acknowledge that there other attractive bodies that aren’t always some lean guy with a six-pack.
Interviewer: When you make it, you better show it to me.
Interviewee: I will don’t worry
Interviewer: Thank you for answering all the questions.
Works Cited
Takeuchi, Kayo. “The Genealogy of Japanese ‘Shōjo Manga’ (Girls’ Comics) Studies.” U.S.-Japan Women’s Journal, no. 38, 2010, pp. 81–112. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/42772011. Accessed 15 Oct. 2022.
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